The Crags Hotel owner hit back at a scathing review of his Stirlingshire hotel on TripAdvisor.
Alex Scrivenor said the one-star review headlined "nightmare" – which has now been removed from the site – was "unjust", The Scotsman reported.
He said the Glasgow woman’s stay in mid-February had been so difficult that it had ruined the memory of Valentine’s Day for both himself and his wife Victoria.
The guest said the stay had been “the worst experience ever” and advised holidaymakers to “stay clear of this hotel”.
She wrote: “Very poorly managed extremely disappointed: Was a nightmare from very beginning as they double booked our room and continually lied to us about the booking. Our friends came all the way from England and were very disappointed as their booking was wrong also… will stay clear of this hotel.”
Scrivenor, a father of two whose hotel holds an 81% approval rating on the travel website, responded to the post.
He wrote: “Valentine’s day has always held a special place in my heart… it was the day I first kissed my last girlfriend… who I then proposed to three Valentine days later.
“However from henceforth I will remember Valentine’s as the miserable day that I had the misfortune to meet you, your husband and your friends from England!
“And the 16th Feb will now be called ‘Hatchet Sunday’ in memory of the review you left us.”
He accepted that the party did not have the room they originally booked, which was the focus of their complaint on TripAdvisor, but said he gave them a free bottle of wine, £15 off the room and even added a free night’s stay.
He also claimed the complaining guests had become “incoherently drunk” and even kicked a hole in the wall of his hotel.
In a 900-word tirade, he revealed one of his guests had been charged with a breach of the peace.
He wrote: “That you and your husband went on a criminal rampage through the streets of Callander the like of which we have not seen since William Wallace had a ‘city break’ in Carlisle!
“Did it really slip your memory that your husband was charged with threatening behaviour, criminal damage and breach of the peace?”